Cell Phone

So cell phones and I have a very complicated relationship. As you can tell from my last post, I do love electronic gadgets. You could also gather from my last post that I might have trouble keeping them in running condition. My IPod experience is part of a larger cell phone problem. I got up last night at midnight to collect my cell phone from downstairs. I often use it as an alarm clock. I found it on the kitchen table sitting in a pool of water. That pool of water was from a cup of water that once was sitting upright on the table. I’ve never seen it, but I’ve deduced that spilled water cups are caused by one of our three cats. This water thing has gone on for a long time, on and off. I’ve actually concluded that it happens when our cats run out of water. So, my cats tell me that they need water by spilling cups of water in inconvenient places. This time, it was right next to my cell phone.

Now to call this phone I am using “my cell phone” is a bit of revisionist history. It is really not technically my cell phone. My original phone met a different fate. I left it on the roof of my car as I drove off to work one morning. Someone found it and called the number attached to Home in the contacts. That number went to my in-laws’ house because I think I borrowed that phone from my wife because something happened to my previous phone. So my in-laws called my wife, who in turn called the people who found the phone. They lived across the street from us. That phone was seriously beat up so I recycled it. Then, I think I went and bought the cheapest phone Verizon had. That one did OK until it accidentally jumped into a mug of hot coffee in the drink holder of my car. I still have that one somewhere. It turns on but the screen is pretty messed up.

After that little bath, my wife compassionately gave me her old cell phone (replaced by a new phone). It is (was) a nice Razor. I really liked that phone. It was big enough that it was harder to lose and it looked pretty cool, too. That Razor and I did fine together until we all went to Walt Disney World in December of last year. One night the kids begged me to take them to the pool. We were staying at the Polynesian. I took them and refused to get in the water because it was too cold. The kids were really mad at me. Then we decided to go to the volcano pool. It has a zero entry end, so you can wade in. It was just cold enough that I really didn’t want to get the important parts all wet. When it is cold I don’t mind getting my feet and legs wet. The trouble starts in the area between my quads and my waist. When it is cold, I find it really hard to get those parts wet. It’s a psychological thing. Even that isn’t too bad once I go there. The really big hurdle is from my ribs to my shoulders. That is the area that really doesn’t want to get wet because once it does I am cold and I stay cold. Anyway, with the zero entrance I could wade into the pool and at least partially satisfy the needs of my kids to have me in the pool…without getting the critical areas wet. As I was drawn into the pool by my kids, I forgot that my Razor was in the back pocket of my bathing suit. I am sure my subconscious knew it was OK because I really never intended to cross that quads line. Well, somehow I did and my Razor took a dip in the volcano pool at the Polynesia Resort at Walt Disney World. So that phone bit the dust.

The phone I have now (“my cell phone”) actually was given to me generously by a friend. She had been given it by her mother-in-law and was keeping it as a back up phone. So, it wasn’t really her phone either. This phone has a camera and my kids have had a great time playing with it. I should upload the pictures they’ve taken because they are a funny, kid’s-eye view of things. The problem is that the phone isn’t working right now. The odd thing about the donated (borrowed) phone is that it has pictures on it of my friend’s husband, kids and dog as well as other people. I almost feel intrusive when I accidentally look at them. So, the phone that one of my cats doused with water as an act of defiance because I let their water run dry is not really my phone at all. If this phone doesn’t revive, I am really in trouble because I have run out of people to borrow phones from. It is clear at this point that I cannot take care of them. I swear this one was only my fault indirectly. Why my cat couldn’t douse my wallet instead of my phone, I just don’t know.

If you read yesterday’s post (which no one did) you’ll conclude what my wife already has concluded. I shouldn’t have an expensive phone, I should not own any expensive gadgets, and I definitely should not have an IPhone. It is a good thing my kids are big enough that I can’t leave them on the roof of a car or drop them in a cup of coffee!