If someone likes your shirt, just give it to them

I have a friend that actually read my blog. He must be a true friend. He described it as a self deprecating blog that vacillates between death and weight loss. With testimonials like that my readership is not likely to grow much. Honestly, I am not sure if I want it to. If my friends don’t get my blog how can I expect people who don’t even know me to understand? So today I’ll try for uplifting.

I’m a pretty nice guy. Most people know me as a nice guy. My family knows me as “too nice for my own good.” When I was a kid I came home one day from fishing with the local kids and asked my mother if I could invite one of the kids home for dinner. He had told us that he was sleeping in the park and eating squirrels. My father and brother were thrown into hysterics over my naivety. It’s a story that is still told at family gatherings with great hilarity. I haven’t changed a whole lot. I still tend to be trusting and nice.

It remains one of a few key differences between me, at least philosophically, and the rest of my nuclear family. Its not that my mother, father and brother aren’t nice, compassionate, generous people—they are all of those things and more. Still I can’t get away from the label of being too nice.

I have a friend (besides the one that read the blog) who I’ve known for years. We roomed together in graduate school and have remained close friends ever since. In fact, we work together. In graduate school this friend of mine always had money…and he was very generous with it. I cannot begin to count up the amount he spent feeding me, housing me and buying me beer. When he started writing his thesis he bought himself a PC. This is back in the day when most people didn’t own their own computers. He dropped several thousand dollars on it. When he finished his thesis, he gave the computer to me—just gave it to me.

I remember one time we were with some friends and someone commented on his shirt. He took it off and gave it to them. I asked him later why he gave away his shirt. He said to me, “Adam, if someone likes your shirt, just give it to them. It’s just a shirt, you can get another one.” That is how he lived and still lives his life. It hasn’t always produced happy results. One year he was driving to visit me on New Year’s Eve and he took a wrong turn. He ended up in a very poor neighborhood. Some young men jumped in front of his car and approached his window. He rolled it down and they asked for money. He went to give them some and they grabbed him by the hair and pulled him from his car. They beat him badly and trashed his car. He only got away by tearing free of his clothes. Luckily a resident in the area took him in until an ambulance and police could show up.

I am sure that really affected him in many ways, but it didn’t change him fundamentally. He is still generous to a fault and still lives by that same creed. He’s been an important friend to me because he affirmed to me that there is no such thing as “too nice.” We may pay the price for being who we are, but in my mind that price is worth living my life the way I want to.

Maybe that is why I can understand why my landlord wants to screw me. He announced yesterday that he wants to sell the house he is renting to us. He wants to start showing it next month and when it is sold we will get 30 days to move out. That really stinks. We have a lease and it’s not up until August. Still it looks like an obscure clause in the lease will let him do it. Who wants to live in a house that is being shown all the time? Who wants to live under the threat of having to move in any given month? In fairness, they just discovered that their taxes went way up. They can’t afford the taxes without raising our rent $700. I feel for them and I understand that they are in a bad spot. Am I too nice? I’m empathizing. Is that so bad?

Of course, the fact that I think I’ve found a way to get us all out of this situation makes it easier for me to be gracious. If that doesn’t work out, then I’ll turn nasty and mean.

So how was that? Was this post self-deprecating? I don’t think my blog is self-deprecating. It is self-indulgent and narcissistic, sure, but it’s not self-deprecating. Do you like how I turned that into a bit more self-deprecation?

Yesterday I weighed in at around 205 and today I weigh 202.3. I like the trend but also know that my weight fluctuates within a few pounds. I also know that I walked for about 40 minutes yesterday and also went on a short bike ride with my kids. The exercise is going to be the thing that gets me where I want to be. The diet will help but won’t do it alone.

I watched a bunch of the end of the TDU last night online. It was fun to see racing again. It is amazing how fast those guys go. My wife and friends really don’t get my interest in cycling, but they graciously accept it as they accept me. My kids will follow it a bit. They love the fact that one of the stars, George Hincapie, lives just two hours away. We haven’t gone trick or treating at his house yet, but if I brought that idea up the kids would go for it. My wife wants to trick or treat at Bruce Springsteen’s house and he lives in New Jersey. Who’s crazier? I think she is.