Sponsorship Opportunities—--Get in on the Ground Floor

After two weeks off my bike, I finally got a chance to ride again. It felt great to ride, but I didn’t feel that great riding. I only went about 26 miles and kind of ran out of gas. Granted I left the house without a second water bottle and rode 20 miles without drinking an entire bottle…and the bottle I left behind had a sports drink with electrolytes so I really didn’t take very good care of myself for the first 20 miles. I eventually stopped and got a Gatorade, but by then it was a bit too late. I was pretty sluggish the last 6 miles and really didn’t have much gas to get up a hill near the end of the ride. I also rode from Noon to 2, which is not my normal time. I usually ride early in the morning to avoid the heat. Recently I’ve been having a hard time carving out time to get in a ride. So I had the shot today and I took it. I didn’t think it was going to be that hot and honestly it didn’t feel that hot. Still when I got home and checked the weather it said the heat index was 103. So I suppose for riding in weather hotter than I am used to, being off the bike for two weeks, and not giving my body what it needed on a hot day—I did as well as could be expected. Being stupid like I am, I deserved to bonk and throw up. Instead I got lucky and just ran out.

I’ve been working a second job the last couple of weeks and the income, plus a few things coming in from other places, has put me about 2/3 of the way to a new road bike. I am really hoping I can get it by the middle of September. The Tour de Camden is coming up in early October and I want to ride the 100 K route. From there a bunch of other rides like it crop up all through the fall and into the spring. Benny the Cheat has challenged me to do a sprint triathlon with him in the spring, so I am hopeful that I’ll be competing in a fair number of events over the next six months.

This brings me to an opportunity that I’m going to offer to you, my friends, right here and right now. I’m not offering this to everyone…yet…so you have the chance to get in on the ground floor. I am offering you a chance to sponsor me for these upcoming events. In return for you sponsorship, I can provide great exposure for you, your business or your cause. Here’s how…

1. Your name will be seen by all participants
Generally a sponsor gets to put their name on the jersey and/or bike of the team or rider being sponsored. The idea is that the rider tries to get in positions that allow spectators, other riders, and TV cameras to see the names of their sponsors. Usually that means getting to the front of the bike race and staying there. I know I can’t stay at the front of a race for very long, but I am sure I can weasel my way to the front at the start and make a mad dash right at the beginning. Again, I won’t stay out front, but there won’t be TV cameras in the races I will go to…so the other riders will be the main target for advertising. If I get out in front, then EVERYONE will have to pass me. Since most sponsors put their names on the backs of jerseys, the ENTIRE race will see your name…as they pass me…and they all will pass me because I will have spent every bit of energy to get out in front at the start—huge advertising boost for you.

2. Your name will be seen by all spectators
My strategy of fast starts with a protracted drop back will nab the attention of race participants, but I’ve got an equally clever strategy for reaching the spectators. The key with advertising is being able to reach potential customers. When that advertising is on the jersey of a cyclist, the key is giving people the chance to see it. Here is where I can help you in ways that faster cyclists can’t. Remember in Fahrenheit 451 the cars went so fast that the billboards needed to be really long so drivers could read them? Well, I don’t ride that fast. My slow pace will give the spectators plenty of time to read my jersey. Also, in all likelihood I will be coming in near the very end of the race and will look exhausted and two steps from death. Word will spread quickly about how bad I look as I come into the finish. Like any good car accident or train wreck, people’s attention will turn to me. You just can’t buy that kind of attention for an advertiser…well, I guess I am asking you to buy it.

3. You will generate good will, and therefore attention
You will generate good will through pathos, which of course is the same root from which comes the word pathetic. I will be pathetic and you will be allowing me to get out in the world of sports and participate, as well as improve my health. It is sort of like sponsoring an orphan or adopting an old racing greyhound. People will be positively predisposed to you because they know you have done something good with no real return to you—you sponsored me. And, since I will be seen by both the participants and the spectators you’ll reach both sets of potential customers.


Really, friends the possibilities are limitless. You can see the good will, charitable donations, and customers just rolling in from just your modest sponsorship of me. How proud would Clan McKinnon be to have the family tartan emblazoned onto my cycling jersey? AGA-LLC could stop funding the purchase of Chinese death bikes and get some real advertising bang with a map of magnetic anomalies across my chest. And the donations would simply roll in to Texas State University’s Center for the Arts and Symbolism of Ancient America if its logo adorned the small of my back.

Sponsorship could be a tax-deductible donation or an advertising write-off. Get in on the ground floor before I really take off. Space is limited, so hurry!