Why

Why is it that every time I go to get a spoon I find that they are all dirty? It’s not like we only have three. We have a bunch, a whole bunch. And it’s not like we wash dishes only once a month. We do them every day or at least every other day. And it’s not like we are a family of 20. There are four of us—two big people and two smaller ones. So what the hell is up with the spoons? Do we have a mischievous sprite in our house that hides our spoons? Do the cats help themselves to the ice cream while we are sleeping? Do we live over a rift in the space-time continuum and does that allow people from a future where there are no spoons to come back and steal mine?

After a lot of reflection and some internet searching, I’ve concluded that this can mean only one thing. Our family diet is focused on things that you eat with a spoon. This would explain the concomitant scarcity of bowls. Generally things you eat with a spoon are also things you eat in a bowl. So what is my family eating? Lots of cereal, grits, yogurt, soup, macaroni and cheese, and other kinds of pasta you eat with a spoon (like gnocchi). That doesn’t sound like it is a very healthy diet. I am the cook. Since I started trying to lose weight I haven’t been eating as much. Since it is my appetite that usually drives me to cook, I haven’t been cooking as much. Also, since we’ve moved to our new house, I haven’t wanted to make anything complicated (and messy) in the new kitchen. The result is a diet concentrated on spoon food. I am troubled by this.

If we are going to be eating mostly simple, expedient foods I need to find some healthier options. I am thinking astronaut food, or maybe the dehydrated foods that hardcore campers and hikers take with them.

Mmmm, looks tasty...

Space food!

 Space Breakfast!

(As a funny aside, my kids and I play a story game sometimes. The rules of the game are that you have to tell a story where the end result is that you've knowingly eaten cat poo, cat pee, or cat vomit. This picture reminds me of that fun story game)

Space Lunch!

While I am on the subject of food, why can’t my body be satisfied with a rice cake? When I get hungry I generally want to eat something small and fast. I’ve been trying to eat things that have lots of protein and not tons of carbs or sugars. So, I eat a rice cake smeared with peanut butter or an apple with peanut butter. So why is my body still wanting something after I am done? What does it want? I am feeding it well and reasonably. Channeling my body, I just got the answer to that question. It would prefer a steak and a baked potato with butter. If I could just keep those on hand so that I could whip them out of the fridge at a moment’s notice. This takes me back to the astronaut food…or dehydrated backpacking food. 

 It's not steak, but is the closest I could find. I can run out to Dick's and buy a truckload!

Or maybe….meat on a stick! My body would be much happier if I just had an endless supply of meat on a stick that I could grab and eat. Most any kind of meat will do.

Well....maybe just chicken and beef, nothing exotic. I won't know how many calories I'm consuming if I go too weird. On the other hand, going weird will keep my kids from eating my stash of meat on a stick.

I think I need to mass produce kabobs and freeze them for fast deployment. I am pretty sure I am on to something.