The Winter Snow of 2011

This is our second round of snow this winter…something that is pretty unheard of here in the middle of South Carolina. The kids have enjoyed it…the rest of th e town not so much. Monday was supposed to be the first day of the new semester, but here we are on Tuesday and the university is closed again. I am sure the students are liking the couple of extra days off. Honestly, I am too. Usually this winter break gives me a time to rest and turn off my brain…to recharge. This year I went from Disney to lots of time valeting to the Society for Historical Archaeology conference.  Usually this is the time of the year where I think a lot about what I am doing and what I want to do next. Until the last couple of days off—courtesy of the snow—I hadn’t gotten much of a chance to do that.

Besides giving me a chance to recharge and reflect, this snow storm has also taught me a few things:

Snow Cream Rocks!

When I was a kid I made snow cones out of snow—using maple syrup—but we never made snow cream. Yesterday my daughter was begging to make it and I told her I had never heard of it before. After some time prostrating myself before the font of all knowledge—the internet—I found a recipe. It basically is a can of sweetened, condensed milk, some vanilla, and a bunch of snow. Wow, sweet and creamy..really sweet, by the way. It must really crank up endorphin production somewhere in the brain because I WANT MORE NOW! I am going to walk to the store right now to get some more milk so we can make a batch before the snow melts away. I’ve already thought about how to make it in a post-snow SC winter…shaved ice. We have a little shaved ice maker shaped like a snowman. You have to crank him and it takes forever to make one small cup of ice…but just knowing I can still make snow cream stops the panic.

I am not prepared for snow

I grew up in New Hampshire and Pennsylvania, where we routinely got lots of snow each winter. We lived with snow for months. I had all the gear—good rubber  boots, snow pants, a heavy jacket, and lots of mittens and gloves. And we had the right snow removal gear, too—big, flat snow shovels. After I finished going to school I moved down South and that was the end of snow gear. Why have it, after all? It snows maybe once a year and most people hide in their houses, drink beer, and watch movies.

So yesterday I ventured out in the snow with my son. What did I have to wear? I wore my nylon shell with a sweatshirt underneath, sneakers, a hat borrowed from my son, and a pair of knit gloves. Needless to say, I got cold and wet pretty fast. When both my kids went out later, I stayed in the house…because I am uprepared and lame.

Then today I noticed that other Shandonistas were out clearing their sidewalks. I had gone out with my sneakers and knit gloves to help my daughter build a snow man, which by the way is really pretty hard when the snow has a thick, icy crust and is melting. We managed to build one and then I decided I needed to clear our walks as well. What do I have for snow removal gear? Well, a big push broom and two round shovels. The walks were just icy enough and the snow just wet enough that the broom alone wasn’t enough. So I had to scrape the snow off the walks with the flat edge of a round shovel—using a sideways motion. It was a lot of work and I must have looked overwrought because one of my Shandonista neighbors who was out  jogging asked if I wanted him to run home and get his flat shovel. A generous offer, but a bit late because I was almost done.

Tomorrow I am starting an archaeological project at Congaree National Park. I have to take the field crew to the survey area—which means a walk in the woods. Iam so embarassed that I only have sneakers that I actually went to Hellmart tonight to buy some boots…just for this one walk into the woods. What kind of archaeologist am I?

Even with my new Hellmart boots, I am not really prepared for snow.

Our society is not prepared for scarcity

All the grocery stores closed early yesterday because of worries over iced up roads…and they were smart to do so. I happened to venture out in search of pasta sauce and gnocchis around 3:30PM yesterday only to discover the early closings. The roads were pretty quiet—and a bit slippery—and everyone was driving carefully and civilly. After some trekking I found that the neighborhood Bi-Lo was still open. The parking lot was packed. Inside people were a bit frenzied, grabbing things off the shelf, filling carts and hurrying to get in line. There was only one cashier and the line stretched half way around the store—literally. I decided I didn’t want to wait in that line and skipped the gnocchis. As I was leaving the parking lot I was nearly run over by one car, nearly slammed by another, and cut off by a third as I was leaving. Everyone was desperate to get to the store!

Now the stores were open earylier and they would all be open the  next day, so it is not like there was really the threat of going without food. For heaven’s sake, the Walgreens across the street was open all night. Still, people were a bit freaked and harried. If they get this way over stores closing early, can you imagine what would happen if we had a real emergency? If people were willing to run me down in the street to get to Bi-Lo before it closed, what would they be willing to do to me if there was a real shortage? It honestly scares the crap out of me. People turn into animals quickly. I understand the whole survival drive, but we are so used to not just sufficiency, but downright excess that we become crazed at the thought of temporary inconvenience.

Our society is in trouble. Most of us couldn’t survive if our lives changed even a little. I am getting ready to go buy a truckload of guns and some land in Montana, build an underground bunker (with cable, wifi, and some soft toilet paper), and hole up. Oh, we’ll need lots of batteries because our Wii controllers run through them like crazy. Or maybe a windmill to generate power. I really need to charge my IPhone every night.  I should also get one of those old-timey, manual coffee grinders because I can’t go without coffee…and I suppose I should make room for a cow in the bunker because there is no reason to drink coffee if it doesn’t have cream in it..and no sense in eating toast without real butter. I hope at least one take-out Chinese and pizza place survives, because I love that stuff. Do you think Netflix will still deliver after society crumbles and we sink into anarchy and chaos?