My friend Randi advised me to think about the time before surgery as training for surgery...a time to get my body in the best possible shape to weather the surgery and recover as fast as possible. She, of course, has a good point and the whole training angle almost gives me enough to keep me going for the next 6 weeks...almost. And sure I've got half a dozen writing projects to keep me amused, too. Still, I am having a hard time with this schedule.
Yesterday in my frustration I posted that I declared myself no longer sick. The cardiologist didn't exactly say it that way, but he said I could do any normal activity I felt comfortable doing. Surprisingly, 30-mile bike rides apparently don't qualify as normal activity. I declared I would drink coffee (in moderation), go on short bike rides, and forget about having surgery. Now any of you who have followed my adventures since I started trying to lose weight and get into cycling should have noticed a pattern. When it comes to pushing my body, I am not particularly patient and I often make rather rash decisions. Usually I pay for that with sore muscles, difficult bike rides, or some other short-term physical set back. You think I'd might learn something.
So yesterday I delcared myself no longer sick, and therefore able to do normal things. Today I got a subtle poke in the ribs from the powers that be. Today I woke up with a scratchy throat and runny nose. I have a cold. It isn't a bad one, and it doesn't pose any threat to my overall health. Still, I feel a little...well, sick. So much for my declaration!
This past weekend I missed a Busk at the Creek Indian ceremonial grounds I attend because I couldn't travel. At previous Busks, the ceremonial leadership has admonished those attending to be aware, listen, and pay attention to what is going on around them. We tend to miss some really important stuff about ourselves, our relationships, and the world around us because we are so disconnected, so diverted by technology.
This cold is a reminder of that important lesson from the grounds. I know there were people there this weekend concerned about my health and they did things in the sacred space of the grounds to harness power to help me. Whether you or I or anyone else sees my cold as just another random and meaningless event in a random universe or something else really doesn't matter much. I think I should listen to the message that it sends to me.
So maybe I am not really sick, but that doesn't mean I should be stupid (I tell myself as I tell you). As Randi says, this is my time to get ready for what surgery will do to me. Frustrated or not, I need to be a little smarter about my body than I usually am.
But that doesn't mean you won't see me coasting around on my bike along the mean streets of Shandon now and again.
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