2012

I sit here on the first day of 2012 preparing myself to go visit my very ill mother, contemplating the fact that this might be the last time I see her or see her in a form I recognize. That sort of stuff makes you think. It makes you think about how you grew up, the people who are important to you, and where the rest of your life is going. It has made me reflect on the world around me, the people I’ve surrounded myself with and I am very grateful for the group of loyal, loving friends I have. Since my surgery it’s become clear to me that what I want most out of life is to enjoy it. I am already on the back half of my life and I want to do the things and be with the people that make me happy. That’s all I want. I want material comfort, I want to choose my own fate, and I want to be with people that I care about.

I am continually amazed by the capacity of people to be so cruel, so selfish, and I am continually amazed by the capacity of people to be good and caring. As a parking valet, I come into contact with a hundred random people a week. Anonymity can provide the cover for otherwise decent people to behave terribly and selfishly. Despite that cover, I have never been treated with anything but decency, respect, and even compassion. Now I realize that the place where I valet, my appearance, and even my age all affect that—let’s face it, I am older than half the people I meet every night. Still, it gives me some hope that the decency in people is more powerful than the inclination to be rotten.

I’ll carry that hope into 2012, a year that will certainly bring big changes to my life.  All our lives will change over the course of the next year, but most of us don’t know what those changes will be. I suppose in some ways maybe it is easier knowing what is coming, but then again maybe not. I’ll let the love of my friends and family and my belief that I can leave my kids a decent world carry me. And I’ll ride my bike…right now!